Whew. This week has been an emotional roller coaster. Some
weeks you just REALLY need a p-day! This was one of those weeks.
Up and
down.
Yesterday
was really up and down, the lowest of lows and then the highest of
highs. I won't dwell on the lows. I spent most of the day rather
depressed, but it really only takes 30 minutes and a bit of an attitude
adjustment to turn things around. I was able to lead a really great
presentation and un-invite myself to my pity party....then later on that
night we had a tender mercy from the Lord.
We were pretty bummed all day that Tracy
and Melba didn't come to church, when we thought both of them were going to be there. We
visited Tracy, all good there... she is still recovering, but no
response from Melba still. That hurts, I think that's one of the reasons
why missionary work is so hard is that these people become our dear,
dear friends. We think about them all the time, we pray for them daily,
and we really want them to be happy.
Here's the tender mercy. Sister White needed to grab her journal from a
lady in our ward, Sister Pancic. She is the best. We get talking to her
and she tells us how she went over to Tracy's, just for the heck of it
(did I already mention that she is the best?) and Melba was there. Melba
and Tracy had been reading their scriptures together because they
didn't go to church and wanted to make
Sunday
special. That made me feel SO good. I realized that my perfectionist
personality had been worrying way too much about little things. Sure,
church is really important. It is. But how long did it take me to figure
out how important church was? It took a really long time to fully
understand that or to even partially understand that. Tracy
and Melba were worshiping and strengthening their testimony to the
amount that they understood, on their own. That made my whole day. It
was such a miracle that we randomly stopped by Sister Pancic's on the
way home, so that she could fill us in on how Melba was doing and so
that I could go to bed feeling good. Thank goodness for tender
mercies!!!!
This is my favorite scripture about tender mercies: 1 Nephi 1:
20 And when the Jews heard these things they were angry with him; yea, even as with the prophets of old, whom they had
a, and stoned, and slain; and they also
b his life, that they might take it away. But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender
c of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of
d.
Meredith is doing great. She is the cutest. I got to bust out a few of my teaching skills on Saturday.
She is a little behind in math and we went over and I tutored her for
about an hour. It was so fun to teach. I have realized that I am a much
better teacher because of my mission. I haven't stepped foot in a school classroom in over a year, but I think all around my teaching skills have improved.
Funny how that works. I know that all aspects of our lives are blessed
through gospel service. We did this really fun lesson on goals and
creating a vision for our life. We cut out all these pictures from the
New Era magazines and put them on a poster for her. It was neat to see
how much her life can change as she grows in the gospel. Her goals
included serving a mission, getting married, going to college... which
was a far cry from what she looked forward to a few months ago. She told
us that her biggest dream in life before moving was to go on a booze
cruise in Greece. She doesn't even know about the Word of Wisdom yet and
she already thinks that past goal is a stupid idea.
I'll be honest here. I am STRESSED about transfers,
well kind of. Mentally stressed, but not emotionally stressed. I just
really want to stay. I love my area, I love the people we are teaching, I
love the jail, I love Elder Ballard and I really want to shake his
hand! It's really all up in the air though. We will find out
tomorrow
night. I cannot believe it is October and that the 50th Anniversary is
in 2 weeks and that conference is in one week. So excited!
I am really excited for
General Conference!
It is the best as a missionary/also just the best. One of my favorite
stories from the history we teach at the Liberty Jail is that of Jacob
Haun. I have learned a lot from this story about our consecration, and I
know it changed my attitude about General Conference and following the
prophet. So Jacob Haun was one of the earliest settlers in a settlement of church members called Haun's Mill. It was a small
settlement located near the outskirts of Caldwell County, the "safe"
county for the members of the church. Violence was increasing throughout
the counties and Joseph Smith had recommended that the members of the
church in the outlying settlements move in. Jacob spoke with Joseph
asking for permission to stay explaining that if they left they would
lose their mill, their land, their homes, and everything they had.
Joseph explained that it would be far better to lose their property than
to lose their lives, and said again that they should move in to Far
West. Jacob Haun continued to protest. He gave excuses and plans for how
they would be kept safe and could be exempt from the counsel. Ultimately
Joseph said that they were at liberty to do as they would... he
commented that Jacob hadn't come for counsel but only for permission to
do as he already had made up his mind to do. We know that just a short
time later that same settlement of Haun's Mill was massacred by a mob
and 17 people were killed and 14 badly injured.
This really got me
reflecting about my commitment to following the counsel of church
leaders and the Lord. Is our commitment conditional? Do we follow only
when it is convenient and when the sacrifice fits into our ideals or
schedule? I've realized more and more that safety lies in following the
counsel of church leaders. They stand as watchmen, ready and willing to
warn us and help us prepare temporally and spiritually. As our hearts
are open we can receive that counsel, but we are always at liberty to do
as we will. I'm excited for general conference and I hope we can all
prepare to have open hearts and minds.